Though it pains me not to use the full, memeable profanity in this title, decorum must be established… for I have serious business to discuss. That of Catalina Island.

Before that, here is some context. Art and entertainment bring new meaning to our world, oftentimes. Playgrounds for all of our fantasies to play out, narratives to supplement pursuits in tourism -- both as consumers and creators. Performers and profiteers.

Places of significance -- whether that be historically, ecologically, artistically -- act as physical zones of connection. For example, humans lucky enough to arrive in Pisa, Italy have one goal in mind: to take a photo with the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I am guilty of this fate, too. 

However, I am left wondering why? Why do we do this? Why do we gravitate towards these things that society collectively decided were important? From what I can deduce -- the purpose is to connect. One leaves with a personal postcard, a touchpoint, proof that they have seen the same thing, taken part in the same practice as all the other people who visited that “thing” in that “place.” Just like all the other people -- past, present, and future (that is important to note.) 

We humans are simple creatures. The need to take that photo in front of that thing that sticks in our collective knowledge of the world is motivated by our individual need to demonstrate that we were here. We existed on this planet, too. We leaned against that tower in Pisa just like all those other people. Art, entertainment and technology, whether we like it or not, greatly contributes to this fanfare that surrounds what it means to be a tourist. Or rather, contributes to which people, places, or things are deemed worthy of being built up by the tourism industry.

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That’s what brings me to the 2008 cult classic Step Brothers. Chances are, you have seen this film. If you haven’t, there is probably some vague glimmer in your memory connecting that movie to Catalina Island.

Throughout the film, many of the characters refer to the Catalina Wine Mixer -- a simple plot point where Will Ferrell’s character gets the chance to prove himself. The whole premise is bonkers, but that’s what makes a great comedy. Yet, that seemingly-small detail made its way into the cultural zeitgeist, nonetheless… before memes truly became memes. 

Several times in the film, you’ll hear an iteration of, “It’s the Catalina Wine Mixer!” A line meant to evoke obvious prestige. For no reason at all, people started saying this line over and over to describe many, many situations, cementing this island into our popular imagination. This catchphrase soon became the first and usually, only detail, known to the outside world about Catalina. An island that probably had wine. People have traveled to take Instagram photos for far less. 

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Traveling to Catalina for the first time last week, I can confirm that the only connotation this place held in my mind was entirely within the context of Step Brothers. Since the island grew in popularity after the film, the Catalina Island Company actually went on to create a real-life, annual Catalina Wine Mixer. Typically, art imitates life. In this case, life imitated art with “art” being Will Ferrell singing “Por Ti Volare” to a crowd of oceanside actors. 

Arguably, this silly movie many of us know and love completely transformed the reality of Catalina Island and its tourism industry. I’ll say it once, and I’ll say it again… stories -- stories are the things that move us, inspire us, and leave us looking for more outside our own front doors. Hilariously, this story is that of Step Brothers. I took a boat across the way to this island in my mind and found that the freaking Catalina Wine Mixer is just the description inside the book jacket. What I found beyond this one-liner were pages and pages of more stories to tell. 

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Here is what I observed while on Catalina Island. I could write in narrative form all day and all night. For the sake of brevity and your time -- dear reader -- here are some of the bullets. 

• First and foremost, the Tongva tribe inhabited Catalina for thousands of years. THOUSANDS. Three zeros. That is a lot of human history. 

• Before Isla Santa Catalina, this place was known as Pimuu'nga.

• The Tongva mined soapstone. Quarries and mining areas still exist today, after thousands of years of footprints in the metaphorical sands of time. Absolutely brilliant. 

• The Wrigley family -- the Chicago people with the gum and the baseball field -- purchased the island and became its stewards. For all intents and purposes, this is a story of a wealthy dynasty free of overt corruption. 

• About 80-90% of the island is protected land in the care of the Catalina Island Conservancy, largely as a result of the Wrigley family. When does something so wholesome EVER happen in history?

• There’s an airport -- dubbed the airport in the sky. The Chicago Cubs used the island for batting practice, a playground in the Pacific. Undoubtedly, as a result of the Wrigley’s.

• Catalina’s natural heritage is diverse and quite frankly, impressive. Much of the flora and fauna has flourished inside isolation. Its quail population, for example, is 30% larger than other bird species. Plump and happy-winged creatures. 

• Other notable animals include island foxes, bison, and the ever-enticing, orange Garibaldi fish. 

• These Catalina goldfish dot the ports and coastal edges of the island, perfectly juxtaposed with the crystal-clear blue water. 

• The port of Avalon is filled with submarines due to the beautiful world right under the water’s surface -- a favorite for tourists.

• Avalon feels like some dreamy, Mediterranean wrinkle in time or the setting of some Beatles song. 

• The iconic Catalina Casino is an Art Deco, Spanish Colonial Revival masterpiece. Namely, because the imagery used within these architectural styles is completely “of the sea.” Beautiful mermaid murals and cool, calm tones of blue and sunlight. 

• Everyone rides around on golf carts -- fun!!

• Finally, wine is great, but the island is full of coastal prickly pear cacti which means one thing to me: prickly-pear margaritas. 

Now, I am left with one ridiculous question -- did Step Brothers inadvertently help or hurt Catalina Island’s efforts to preserve, conserve, and protect its wealth of resources? Has a film made our connection to this island’s heritage stronger or more one-dimensional? 

And for your nostalgic pleasure:

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